My week of training

Bit of a mixed entry for this week, as well as sharing some of the experiences I’ve had this week I also want to give you flavour of the kind of training I do. I’m still a novice so bear with me if I don’t explain things quite right!

Anyway, the beginning of the week was tough and I was suffering high anxiety levels and feeling very low. I had convinced myself that people in my life were angry with me or I had done something wrong and I just wanted to isolate myself. So what did I do you ask.

The answer is I hit the gym, went to see my PT and ground out those negative feelings. Back in the mists of time I never would have imagined that I would be capable of the level of training I do now. Back then exercise was my punishment for being fat and ugly and nothing I did was good enough. As a result I never felt motivated. I couldn’t articulate my feelings so it weighed heavy on me.

Not any more! Monday’s session was a prime example of using negative energy to fuel a workout and come out the other side with some regained perspective.

Afterwards I was so light and it felt great, so much so that when my mate walked in the gym I decided to train with her as well😁. So glad I did. Below is a sample of my training for the day.

Legs: Leg extensions, leg press, squats, hamstring curls. Squats are a particularly difficult thing for me and tied up to my feelings of failure so working on my form and position was beneficial if frustrating.

Chest: bench press, overhead press, triceps pushdowns, push ups, weighted planks.

Stretches: I’m guilty of neglecting this important part of training because it’s boring! I was grateful therefore to have my friend there to spur each other on.

Thursday was my day training solo and I decided to do some glute and hamstring work consisting of single leg deadlifts, good mornings and hip thrusts. Needless to say my poor hamstrings were very sore the next day but it was fun to try new things.

Friday was another day for new experiences. I asked my PT if I could have a break from deadlifts and he suggested a strongman style session. I was definitely up for that! Strongman is a lot of fun and makes cardio bearable for me. The session included log press to 37.5kg, axle deadlifts to 60kg, farmers carries and some supporting work with 60kg barbell shrugs and calf training.

Rounding off the week I attended my gyms weekly strength camp which this week was bench press. We are training for our first competition in July so we concentrated on 3 x 3 and I worked up to 43kg. I feel stronger all the time and hope 50kg is not too far away!

Training is my meditation and gives me order to the crazy whirlwind that is my emotional life!

#training #emotionalfreedom #strength

Being an Activist, Even When Others Don’t Agree

So things are mad busy right now and I’ve got so many exciting opportunities opening up for me. One thing that is still close to my heart in this journey is spreading my message to as large an audience as possible. It is what I know I must do and I feel a strong sense of guidance in that direction right now.

However, as with every new venture there are people who will misinterpret or strongly disagree with what you say. How do you deal with this whilst still remaining true to your values?

The absolute essential is to do your research, is there an audience for your message, what have others done and said along similar lines, what can you bring that is fresh and new? With a topic such as feminism be clear on the definition so that when people brand you as a man hater or apologist for the bad behaviour of some women you can counter that argument in a calm, rational way.

You may feel so strongly about your beliefs and get emotional but remember the old adage, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar! Be calm, be clear, be passionate. Wherever possible and especially if a person seems open to it direct them to sources that explain and back up your point. Encourage people towards being critical thinkers and activists for their own causes.

Do not attempt to water down your beliefs or be tempted to moderate them to make others happy or keep them liking you. There is no requirement for you to be a people pleaser and your opinions should not be hidden so that people like or accept you. Authenticity is all and being genuine is admirable.

Hope you have found this helpful, now get out there and change the world!

#feminism #activism #selfbelief #confidence

 

 

On body positivity and learning to love yourself

So my last post was rather negative reflecting the hard things I was working through at the time, hopefully this post will redress the balance.

Body positivity is a very current idea but it’s an important one I think. As someone who has been guilty of buying into societal pressure to be a certain way it is refreshing to see so many people saying “no” and instead learning to love themselves regardless. As with any idea some have misinterpreted it as an excuse to be fat, well this is erroneous on two counts: 1. We do not need permission to be the size we are so consequently we don’t need to excuse that and 2. Many of us have broke our necks trying to fit in and be thin to the extent of dieting constantly and even developing eating disorders. I am aware that being a healthy weight is the best thing long term however that weight may not result in the perfect body. Genetics, loose skin, weight distribution can all contribute to us not being a size zero. You will never look like anyone else so work on being the best you.

What I want to get across is that the only way to accept yourself is to love yourself. Find an activity that let’s you demonstrate your strengths whether that is powerlifting or art or whatever. Something that makes you feel amazing and accomplished.

I’m not saying its easy and I have had to go through many crises to get here but the effort will pay off eventually. Believe in yourself!

 

Where I came from, how I got here…

Lately I’ve been feeling quite low and unsure of myself and this has been in contrast to the beginning of the year when I made some changes and was very optimistic for 2016.

At times like this I need to take stock of where I am in life and how far I’ve come.

Ever since I can remember I’ve always felt I was less than everyone else and had zero confidence in my abilities. At the same time I am perfectionist and competitive leading me to be very hard on myself. I was also bullied relentlessly at school. All of this took it’s toll and I deal with the fallout to this day.

Mental illness is still stigmatized but I am not ashamed that I suffered as ultimately it made me stronger. Nonetheless I went through some tough times dealing with multi impulsive bulimia, depression, anxiety and the issues caused by those conditions!

Somehow I fought against my demons and succeeded in getting better but, horror as a former bulimic I now found myself gaining weight at a tremendous rate as I allowed myself to eat all the things I had denied myself for so long. In fact I became obese just as I had feared before I recovered! At the same time I failed my first year at uni.

For many that would be a disaster and it certainly felt like it but little did I know it would be the making of me. I used the break to create a new me, got my ass into therapy, got off meds and began eating healthily and exercising. Once I started over at uni I was more relaxed as I knew what I needed to do to pass my courses. For once in my life things were going well!

As part of my degree I spent a year in Russia which further aided my recovery, I ate good, home cooked Russian food, made friends and saw a few things that changed my perspective on life and how fortunate I was.

Until recently then I have managed to maintain a healthy weight and keep mentally balanced. I’ve found the gym and powerlifting which I love. All of which makes me question why I am letting things bother me? I find it hard to ask for the space I need and for respect from others. I’m an adult but sometimes it’s so hard!!

One of my problems is that I appear so confident to everyone but I know it’s a mask and underneath there’s a lot of messy insecurities that make me exhausted. I don’t know the answer but I’m determined to fight…

My Gym Playlist

Here’s a list of some of my favourite sounds for working out and lifting, what do you think? Does the right music fire you up?

Brody Dale – Don’t Mess With Me
Nine Inch Nails – Discipline
Faith No More – From Out of Nowhere
Korn – Here to Stay
Linkin Park – Points of Authority
Manic Street Preachers – Revol
Hole – Plump
Bikini Kill – Rebel Girl
Queens of the Stone Age – Sick, Sick, Sick/ Go With the Flow
Foo Fighters – Bridge Burning

Hello & welcome

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Hi everyone,

Thanks for visiting my blog. I’m Claire and my passions include lifting heavy stuff, listening to heavy music from Bowie to Queens of the Stone Age, travel and fashion

Hope to talk about all this and more, so hopefully you’ll enjoy it. Let me know your thoughts.